"With You" Celebrating... | JW
I shared at the end of my piece, “With You,” that I’ll be celebrating over the next several weeks stories of the lovely and wonderful folks who, in being practitioners of deep and amazing love:
Have most inspired and empowered me to accept and love myself.
And also to love one another more fully.
This celebration is inspired by what I consider in the song to be Movement One: Those Who Live Love So Fully That They Inspire Me to Love:
When I'm with you, I hear a sound
That makes me laugh and smile and sing to you
When I'm with you, I feel so free
I love that love is going to take control of me….
When I'm with you
It's for real
What I feel
When I'm with you, uh-huh
To JW
Because I still am wide-eyed and side-eying Holy Spirit for surprising me with you this year. You are and have been a space of grounding, quiet, and nurturance in the midst of utter chaos with a dash of turmoil. I didn’t see you coming, which I still can’t get past; you were nowhere in any vision, and yet here you are.
I’m so glad that I saw you when Holy Spirit asked me to.
I feel so seen and received by you, and it freaks me out sometimes. I can tell that you do that for a lot of people. You make space, and make sure there’s space for folks, in ways we haven’t experienced before.
It’s first a human gift because you are exactly what I asked God for—a cishetero male friend who sees me as a woman and a whole person, and honors the space for me to be who I am. It’s somewhat revealing to me—or at least my experiences and my level of hope at this point—that I’m surprised to have experienced you embodied in a deeply and beautifully masculine, self-described redneck.
Which delights me to no end because I know that it’s perfectly possible, and yet it’s so rare in my experiences as a woman to get to witness a man just be. And allow and encourage others to just be.
And. You are what it looks like when we live who we are genuinely and well, and not as caricatures. My soul needs to experience you in a world where you have every opportunity to be stereotypically cishetero, and so dismissive of me as a whole person as the day is long—a lot of folks in your same position are. And you choose Love. For and with so many us—you choose to see us for who we are. You choose Love, over and over again.
You make space to let me be me because that’s just you. And you are so. very. you. I still at times find myself wondering out of habit if or when I will feel the need to ask if it’s okay to further unfurl myself, if you’ll resist or fight me in some way being other than how you think I should.
Instead, I find you time and again patiently waiting for me to open and share more of who I am. We show up, and there’s space for both of us. Because you ground in and hold your space, and don’t need or demand that I be small so that you can simply Be.
And you’re also a cosmic gift because I’ve not experienced anyone in my life having been this space with me before, not at this depth. I come to the clearing and pick flowers and spin around in circles and just flit around and meander and be fussy and confused and curious and wander away and them come back and trip over my feet while I’m dancing in circles around you because I’m also excited to learn you.
And you just remain you, grounded, strong, and sturdy. Bathing in rays of light while drinking up water through your roots and minding your business, in your space. And with us. And you maybe shake your head and laugh at me being me sometimes. And should. And tell me, “Just keep spinning in your circles…” You’ve been the Geralt to my Ciri while I learn to light up rather than incinerate or melt down.
All of this is so clearly part of your love and grace as a person. Because you’re the best infusion of Warrior, Judge, and a Lover of people. You’re so good at Love. I get to experience this firsthand—I don’t have to be anything to you or for you as a woman for you to care about and support me as a human being. I get to learn with you to just hold space for my genuine and authentic being. Some day I’ll be able to do it so much better with one another. And it’s because today you help me to practice that self-compassion for myself.
I’m uncomfortable sometimes—a lot—because I don’t know how to be when someone just lets me Be. It’s where I am in my life, and it’s also you. I don’t feel the need to accomplish anything to justify my existence or my awesomeness.
You remind me that there is a world beyond the one in which we exist. And while it doesn't exist in as many spaces as I would like--even through my own self more times than I wish were true--I'm always so glad to get to experience it through you. I see myself and my life—who I want to be and how that matters for me—so much more clearly with you. I remember what I allow the morass of the world to make me doubt, and even forget.
I am indescribably thankful to you for sharing and being in this space together. For the ways that you are this space for me. I will never be able to explain to you how your willingness to show up for me and encourage me to take my space is nurturing to me at this time of transformation in my life.
I will always be grateful to you being you, and the ways you inspire me to become more of me.
And so you always remind me of India.Arie’s “Moved By You.”
I love the taste of the words you don't say
You're the very meaning of peace…
….You're the eyes of a child
You're a horse running wild
You're the cracking open of a heart
You make me feel so alive
I am honored to know
The twinkle of your star