Specks in the Infinite

Originally completed May 7, 2016

Often when I think of God, I think of my sense of my greatest friend, of this being that is so close to me in all things, at all times. I think of how Their existence relates to me because it’s how I most readily perceive, and therefore conceive of, Them.

But there are times when I suddenly experience all of the world and existence—I pause and am still in my humanness long enough for them to speak—and I realize how infinite they truly are, how beyond my comprehension and ability to fully know them.

I and my life are often my center of focus, and yet we are but specks in the actual universe. Not in the sense that we are insignificant, but in the sense that when we stand outside and look up at the stars at night there exists this vague notion that we are each one of billions of people...among infinite species...on a planet that is one of several planets in a galaxy...which is one of we don’t even know how many galaxies.

And we haven’t even begun to number the stars.

Human we be, comprised of billions of specks ourselves—so many tiny atoms that somehow know how to differentiate and individualize us, that make each of us distinctly unique from those who are at all like us. And even in the baffling make up of my biological person—that my atoms knew without my conscious understanding how to come together to make me, me—what truly distinguishes and makes us powerful are our minds, hearts, spirits, and souls. And we have no idea what they're truly comprised of, and so have no conception of how we could be so individual.

“But of all that is, we get to be a part in it. Not just exist in it, but live vibrant and beautiful lives that can pour back in and with the beauty of existence, if that’s what we so choose.”

So I’m kneeling here out at the edge of the universe, too excited to sit yet too overwhelmed to stand, gazing about in awe at the light, darkness, and infinite possibility. Knowing that I can never fully understand or appreciate everything that’s there, or here in and of me—there’s not enough time in my mortal life. But of all that is, we get to be a part in it. Not just exist in it, but live vibrant and beautiful lives that can pour back in and with the beauty of existence, if that’s what we so choose.

Specks of dust we may be in the vastness of the universe, yet imbued with our gifts and power whose depths we can't begin to fathom even when we conceive of ourselves as greater. Simple atoms can change our world. And so what are we capable of?

Update due to the absurdly and wonderfully apropos: Beyonce giving us “Bigger” this fall. It begins at 4:27. Love to you, BooFaces!